Don’t Be That Guy – Distracted Guy

“If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there.” – Martin Blank, Grosse Pointe Blank.

This blog hit me like a ton of bricks this past weekend.

I was playing baseball with my 7-year old daughter, and while we were out happily having a pleasant Father-Daughter moment tossing the ball back and forth…it happened.


I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, opened it up, and HAD to check and see who just sent me an email.

On a Saturday.

At 4PM.

My inner Bob said to me, “Really Bob? Really?”

And then I started thinking about every meeting I’ve ever had where someone was texting while someone else was speaking, where someone you were talking to “had to let you go” because an incoming call was WAY more important that speaking to you, and people you meet that “just aren’t there” because the shit on their phone is more important than personal interaction.

I don’t know if we as a society are becoming more introverted by the hour, or we are simply so plugged in, we are all on overload. So ladies and gentlemen, I give you my favorite distracted guys…

Texting Is More Important Than You Guy

What? You were expecting Turd Sandwich?

Listen, in the business world, how much actual face-to-face time do you have? Me? I have around 10-12 hours a week. Spend that time wisely.  It’s fading by the day.  Those that are attentive and listen these days are the one’s going to win.  And to the guy texting his buddy “OMGWTFBBQ” during a meeting, you are a giant douche.  Yeah, I said it.

I just had my 20th year high school reunion.  We are now in a room with people we haven’t seen in 20 years.  Some good, some bad, but we had a girl texting the entire time on her iPhone. When I told her to “cut it out” she got mad at me like I just interrupted the most important conversation of her life.  Unbelievable.

The “Oh My God, I Have To Go Because [NAME] Just Called!” Guy

So let me get this straight: we’ve been playing “phone tag” (by the way, if one more person calls me and says “tag, you’re it”, I am going to kill them, but that’s another story for another day) for roughly a week.  We finally get on the phone…and not even forty five seconds into a conversation, you get “a call” and scream, “Oh my God, I have to take this, dude, I am sorry, I will call you right back, I swear…”.  That tells me everything I need to know about how you feel about me.  Remember that.

Adult ADD Guy

Breaking Gnus: You’re THAT GUY!

I had a meeting with a regional director for a company I can’t disclose, but hypothetically speaking, let’s say it rhymes with Schmicroschmoft.

Anyway, I was warned ahead of time, “You have 15 minutes with him, then he’s gone”.

“What do you mean ‘he’s gone’?”, I asked

“Well, just trust me….”

So we have a lunch meeting, and around 5 minutes into it he starts tapping his foot uncontrollably…

…by 10 minutes his neck is on a permanent swivel…

…and literally, by 15 minutes, he was gone.

I mean, there was no way I was reeling him back in.  He was singing Muppets songs in his head, he was counting tiles, he was imagining being on the set of the Great Space Coaster.

I don’t know what it was, but I do know there was no way he was listening to a word I was saying.

How in the world does a guy like this make it in the business world?

iPhone Guy

Look closely. Jeff’s in here.

We all know him.  Most of us hate him.  And if you don’t, it’s probably because you are him.

Listen, just because you have an iPhone, doesn’t mean I care.  And if I call you out for texting while we are hanging out and your response is, “But this app is SOO COOL”, I swear, I am going to break your phone.

If you call me to ask me out for beers, then use your stupid-ass phone all night, then when I bitch you scream, “Well, if it wasn’t for this, you wouldn’t have your stupid Droid”, well, I might just have to slap you in the face.

Listen, at the end of the day, I get distracted too.  I am constantly guided toward the shiny, candy-like button to push. But do us all a favor, pay attention to the ones you are with, you will be surprised how far it will get you in the world, and please, we are begging you, don’t be that guy.

Until next time…

Make sure you check out our other Don’t Be That Guy entries…

(editorial aside…you all know what you have to do, right?  That’s right…everyone…everyone…with Bob’s phone number calls him today just to leave him a voicemail that says “Tag…you’re it!”)