“Develop a built-in bullshit detector.” – Ernest Hemmingway
I swear to God that nothing surprises me anymore. No one surprises me anymore. This episode of “Don’t be that guy” is about the ‘bullshit generator’. We all know him. We all hate him. We all are confused after talking to him. And we are happy when he leaves.
There are really 3 kinds of ‘bullshit generators’ out there. Captain Catch All. Name dropper guy. And the Bullshit Generator himself.
So let’s start with Capt. Catch-all.
Me – “So…what do you do?”
That Guy #1 – “Well, I used to be a controller for an automotive company, then I was a project manager for this building company…I do some carpentry side work for my brother in law now and I am taking some computer classes…”
Me – “Ok, so…what…do…you…want…to…do?”
That Guy #1 – “Well, to be honest, I just need a job!”
I see this all too often these days…the economy and the job market sucks, so you try to be everything to everyone. You read the paper, you look at the Job Shop on Fox 2 and you try to fit yourself in whatever demand there is in the field.
There is too much good talent out there to try to do something half-ass and expect call backs. It just doesn’t work that way. Pick something and ride with it. Like Yoda said, “Do or do not, there is no try.” Wise man he is….mmm?
So we now move on to another that guy, Mr. Name Dropper guy. He isn’t satisfied just telling you what he does. He isn’t satisfied talking about how he can help you. He doesn’t even care what you do. His goal in life is to tell you how cool he is by who he knows…
Me, “How do you like this bar?”
That guy, “I hung out with Mayor Bing last week!”
Me, “That’s nice…so what do you do for a living?”
That guy, “I touched Joey Harrington’s beer can one night…”
Me, “No kidding, so how’s business?”
That guy, “I was at the Kid Rock concert 2 years ago and he looked at me!”
Now we come to the moral of this story. The bullshit generator himself. He knows what he does, but wants to be more important. He knows what he does, but maybe he is embarrassed to say it. He knows what he does, but gosh darn it, he’s awesome like that…so he goes to Dack.com, pulls up the Bullshit Generator and spews the following:
Me, “So what do you do?”
That Guy, “I visualize best-of-breed models…”
Me, “Wait, what? What do you do?”
That Guy, “I embrace global content…”
Me, “No…seriously, what do you do?”
That Guy, “I engage innovative convergence…”
Me, “For the last time…what…do…you…do?”
That Guy, “I engage mission-critical platforms…”
Me, “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY…WHAT DO YOU DO?”
That Guy, “I’m a project manager…”
So please, we are begging you…don’t be that guy. Until next time…
Make sure you check out all of our other Don’t Be That Guy entries at https://itinthed.com/category/dbtg/